Top 5 Ways To Decrease Your Productivity

I recived it on my mail, it's just great. Why do we work? We work because greedy people need us to help them buy nice things and feel a sense of self importance. In fact, that is their sole reason for existence. For all of you employees out there who don't care about becoming employee of the month and just want to get through the day, here is a to-do list to help you become a better time waster. Is this good for the me? You have to ask yourself this question with every decision you make. For example, do you think a little unpaid extra work from home is appropriate? Does the company ever pay you for something you didn't do? Not any company I've worked for. Why should you give the extra effort to please when they don't? Get a late start This doesn't apply to all jobs, but for many, we arrive long before our bosses do. Time it so that you arrive right before your boss does. Once he does get there, act like you've been working hard and it's time for a break. Then take that break. Spend more time discussing Schedule a "business meeting" with an office buddy, then close the door and talk about how trashed you got last weekend. Make sure to extend this for at least an hour so it appears to be a very productive meeting. Take some fake notes (and practice your doodling skills). You will have a much brighter day if you forget about work and chat a little. Take more bathroom breaks The one place even the worst employer can't touch you (no pun intended). No, it's not the most exciting place to be, but you can read that book you've been meaning to or perhaps, play a game on your cell phone. Whatever you do, it beats work. Know what IBS is? Irritable Bowel Syndrome. You eat the wrong thing, and you're in for a nice long bathroom visit. Guess what? Nobody is going to question that. Why not have it? You could also have frequent urinary tract infections. Everyone is so afraid of lawsuits these days. Would they dare question your medical condition? Make yourself indispensable Mess something up and be the only one who would know how to fix it. Let's say you're a programmer - write some code that will cause a problem at a certain date. Make it very easy to fix. Then, when that date arrives, give a believable excuse as to what went wrong. Explain that this is going to take up all of your time for the next couple of days. Spend the next day or 2 surfing the web, then fix the problem. Suddenly, you're seen as a hero and somebody that they better keep around. Maybe this doesn't apply to your situation, but with a little creativity, you can come up with a solid plan. Make us proud! I remembered old "Montenegro rules" It's very hard to translate them but I'll try to translate them tomorrow. See you around !